You have all read about Polly the Georgetown squirrel by now, if not this is the time to do it. This chapter is meant to be funny and entertaining. Polly is not a Democrat or Republican so just enjoy.
In the beginning: There was a huge hazel nut tree in a yard two houses from the old lady’s house where I moved to. My Great Grandparents, Grandparents and all the siblings lived in that tree. We had a big communal nest. We had all the nuts we could eat, and bury in people’s yard for winter. Life was good. One day a bulldozer came and knocked our tree down. Tore up the yard which was our food storage. Ruined our nest. In other words just ruined our lives as we knew it. Mom and Pop were crying and told us kids there was nothing they could do to help us. Each squirrel was on his own. I had seen this bird feeder in an old lady’s yard a couple houses over and thought that would be nice. There was a huge, beautiful noble fir tree full of cones with nuts in them. I don’t know what to call them because they cant be pine cones and I never heard of noble fir cones. That’s not important anyway. I adopted the old lady and it was not hard to train her to take care of me at all. Life was getting better.
The old lady bought a squirrel sign and would put food on it by her back door. One day she put a whole bag of peanuts on it and I thought it was just for me. She meant It to be for my mom and dad or any homeless squirrels. But only squirrels. I started eating and just passed out in the bag. She pulled me out and said, “what do you have to say for yourself?. I didn’t know I had done anything wrong and said,” I cant believe I ate the whole thing”. Life was good.
I had been working full time planting sunflowers and had her yard all planted when she sent me to her rental property to work. It was a long walk, and I had to carry the seed in my mouth. I worked and worked and not a thing came up. The old lady said I was getting lazy and just eating the seed and she might just quit feeding me. I was so sad. She gave me one more chance and lo and behold I discovered the problem. That yard was full of the ugliest little white faced critters and they were digging up the seed I planted. They were tiny and I was not afraid so I said, “hi I am Polly the Squirrel, who are you?” They said we are Anchor Babies. I had never heard of an animal by that name. I told them to quit digging up my seed but they said it was my job to take care of them and furnish them with food they needed. I said well “dream on” because I am not coming over here any more at all. I think they were illegal immigrants. I told the old lady and she loved me up and said she was sorry and just eat on the back porch. She did not send back to the rental property. Life was good again.
When I adopted the old lady she had two resident cats which came with the adoption package so not only did I have to train her, I had to train the cats. I don’t hate other animals but we should not hurt each other and we should pull our own weight. One cat was named Frosty(white) the other was Talulu (Tortoise color). She told me they had to get along with me and I could not eat their food, yuck cat food. They hate seeds and nuts, so we got along fine. You can see in the pictures that I eat with each of the cats, and Talulu will guard me while I nap. I know some cats kill squirrels but not these two nice cats. Frosty would kill a bird and bring it as a gift to the old lady, and that was not nice at all, but cats do that. Life was good.
One day a black squirrel showed up. My gosh he was different. I thought he was really bossy but the girls loved him. We called him Blacky. He said he was a community organizer and that we should share our wealth. I was about ready to challenge him to a duel when he said, “I have brought a lot of acorns”. Man I like acorns. The old lady had some once and they were soooooo good. We welcomed Blacky with open arms and all of a sudden those anchor babies were in my seed pan and on the railing and had taken over my scratching post. Still not an acorn had been brought to us squirrels. One day the Mom of the anchor babies showed up at my special spot and said she had been appointed as peace keeper and that she had a lot of acorns, so we fell for that line from Blacky. All hell broke loose on the back porch. I discovered a huge illegal immigrant napping on the corner of my deck but am afraid to introduce myself to him. Look at MY beautiful noble fir there is an illegal immigrant in it too. Nice cones are all gone. Life stinks for sure.